Current situation: Awaiting my turn to be interviewed by my Flight Commander
Feelings: Confused, stressed
Rants:Really awaiting this chance, this final approach to my Flight Commander, to tell him that I would like to change over to the MDES scheme, instead of staying over in C3. I find that it is really a little too late to discover that I can only find a purpose being in MDES and not in C3. Perhaps due to my interests and area of studies? Praying really hard that I cna get the switch I really need or I shall be devastated with my current choice, which might see me being out of the course should I not be motivated to a certain extent. That would be the day I shall see another sharp dip in my morale and confidence level. Lord, let me clear this, Lord make this my destiny, if You have meant it to be for me. Please Lord, let me see the light, let me be near your love and warmth, that I will be consoled by your presence Lord. Please.
And as I cross my fingers and pray, I really miss those whom have departed from CLM and how much yet again I have taken some of them for granted. How short are these meetings that are meant by fate. Hmmmmm...
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
On 24th October, my maiden post begins here.
Current situation: Just transferred over to Air Wing from Hotel Wing after completion of CLM and preparing for service term here.
Feelings: Confused, unsure of the path ahead, wishes to be motivated but the direction has not been firm, cautious of those around me who might turn out to be a backstabber???
Rants: This really raw feeling of being surrounded by a totally new environment, the surge in numbers in the Wing and the prospects of working with some whom I feel I might have clashes with. Personality problem with me I suppose but things will have to work out along the way as the journey carries on.
Thinking back, it has really been a contradicting experience for me. Armed with a strong premonition of getting really punished badly, it had turned out as an irony. 150 push-ups in total for 2 weeks? But what I really gained, as I ponder back, was a method to find back my intrinsic motivation to strive. The 1000 sit ups was an impossible task, no matter how I visualized in my mind. However, the meaning is in the doing and once I found my purpose in carrying on, I realized that I could conquer everything else.
The Hotel Wing commander's words did set me thinking. "In a war, we have to be the gold medallist, never lower, for we MUST be the winners" "If you know the 'why', you will naturally complete the 'how'" "If you believe, you shall see" "To lead is to serve"
Such impactful words as fuel for inspiration and power for motivation.
And I really do miss my buddy whom I had for the past 2 weeks, Nicholas. It is tough to find a needle in a haystack, but harder to find a human whom you click well with, and as they always say, where 'great' men think alike. There's this feeling of being lost now.
With that being said, I realised how much I have been neglecting God, that I have somehow placed him as the last few of my priority list but He the Almight God has never compromised my place in Him. How shameful should I be then, to not reciprocate His ever enduring love. But I know I'll have to begin somewhere, and that somewhere is now.
Lets just hope that I will regain my course and set my compass right, right from the start of this very next day.
Current situation: Just transferred over to Air Wing from Hotel Wing after completion of CLM and preparing for service term here.
Feelings: Confused, unsure of the path ahead, wishes to be motivated but the direction has not been firm, cautious of those around me who might turn out to be a backstabber???
Rants: This really raw feeling of being surrounded by a totally new environment, the surge in numbers in the Wing and the prospects of working with some whom I feel I might have clashes with. Personality problem with me I suppose but things will have to work out along the way as the journey carries on.
Thinking back, it has really been a contradicting experience for me. Armed with a strong premonition of getting really punished badly, it had turned out as an irony. 150 push-ups in total for 2 weeks? But what I really gained, as I ponder back, was a method to find back my intrinsic motivation to strive. The 1000 sit ups was an impossible task, no matter how I visualized in my mind. However, the meaning is in the doing and once I found my purpose in carrying on, I realized that I could conquer everything else.
The Hotel Wing commander's words did set me thinking. "In a war, we have to be the gold medallist, never lower, for we MUST be the winners" "If you know the 'why', you will naturally complete the 'how'" "If you believe, you shall see" "To lead is to serve"
Such impactful words as fuel for inspiration and power for motivation.
And I really do miss my buddy whom I had for the past 2 weeks, Nicholas. It is tough to find a needle in a haystack, but harder to find a human whom you click well with, and as they always say, where 'great' men think alike. There's this feeling of being lost now.
With that being said, I realised how much I have been neglecting God, that I have somehow placed him as the last few of my priority list but He the Almight God has never compromised my place in Him. How shameful should I be then, to not reciprocate His ever enduring love. But I know I'll have to begin somewhere, and that somewhere is now.
Lets just hope that I will regain my course and set my compass right, right from the start of this very next day.
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